Ahhh... The Perils of Love, Sweet Love

I asked my husband via text whether he would be willing to stop at the grocery store for me on his way home from work. He responded that as long as I was able to keep it under twenty items that it shouldn't be a problem, and to send him the list. After poking around in the cupboards and fridge I figured out what I needed him to pick up for me and I let him know. I am so damn awesome that I even sent him two more text messages with helpful hints about where he could find some of the items.

I'm just nice like that.

He responded with "Nevermind, go yourself."

Um... excuse me?

Of course I had to question why he suddenly had a change of heart. His next text read "What is this... Rotel. 2 pkg lady fingers. Marscapone?! Is that even food? What is that, can I even buy that at the grocery store?"

A better wife than I would spare her husband the agony of Saturday afternoon grocery shopping; as well as sparing herself the disappointment when he comes home with all the wrong items, but not me. I simply typed back "Dude. Quit 'yer whining, just go get it".

The Love... can you feel it? It's almost overwhelming isn't it? I admit I do feel a tad justified now for all of the times that he's stolen my pillow out from under my head in his sleep and used it for himself.

Update:
I have just spent the past twenty minutes googling images online so that I could text them to my husband in an attempt to help him find the items on my list, (mascarpone cheese, anyone?) as well as offering up various locations in the store where he can search for said items.

Really, I don't know it he's being obtuse on purpose to annoy me or in an attempt to never have to go to the grocery store for me again, but I don't care. I'm laughing so hard at his pitiful texts pleading for help that it makes it all worth it.

Poor little fella.

Update number 2:

It's been half an hour since my last update and he still isn't home. He's also stopped responding to my texts. Should I be concerned? Do you think he left me? Maybe he's just laying in a fetal position next to milk cursing the day he decided to marry me?

Update number 3:

It's 9:30 at night, all of the wee nerdlets are finally asleep and the hubby is almost there himself. I, on the other hand, am about to head out the door to the grocery store to pick up some mascarpone cheese *bemused smirk* Later tonight I'm sure that I will be found chugging what espresso I don't use in the tiramisu just so I can stay awake to finish making it.

Black and White

What a stupidly misleading title for this post. The person who came up with it should be fired henceforth with no compensation pay.

The person who came up with actually doesn't get paid so that wouldn't be much of a loss.

The person who doesn't get paid to write misleading titles would like you to please quick smirking at her now.

::gives you the stink eye::

Good, now that we have that out of the way guess what I'm holding in my grubby little paw?

Woodless colored pencils!

The above picture is sideways and it is annoying the heck out of me. Not so much that I'm willing to log out and go rotate it, but enough to seethe about it and bring the fact to your attention. I'm willing to forgive and forget my laziness if you are.

I'm willing to forgive and forget my laziness even if you aren't.

I'm special like that, I think it's a middle child thing.

I lurve my pencils. They don't come in a huge array of colors (I have only 24 of them to call my own) but they still have a nice selection of shades to choose from. The whole woodless concept is interesting and gives the pencil a nice smooth feel which makes it easier to create value when I work with them. They aren't blendable which makes me sad, but you can create broad strokes by laying them at an angle while you draw so I forgive them for their unblendability.

Disclaimer: Unblendability isn't a real word.

Making up words that barely make sense, I'm pretty sure that is also another middle child thing.

Don't try to convince me otherwise, I'm sure of it. I wonder if stubborness is also a middle child thing? But I digress...

These pictures make me want to kick back and draw a little.

Or a lot.

On the wall.

Ha! Just kidding, of course I wouldn't draw on the wall.

Or would I? I think that's probably a middle child thing as well. So is blaming your birth order for your own bad habits.

Okay, that last one might just be a Christina thing.

A Baker Be... Not me!

::drool::

No, seriously... I mean it.

What? Why??!

Drool, over a uh... um... what is that? A tube of Santa? Why would that make me drool?

Pfttt... it isn't a tube of Santa. What is wrong with you people? It is obviously a tube of Sugar Cookie flavored lip balm from Avon.

Well, it's obviously something from Avon anyhow, you can gather that much from the picture. Jon received it in his stocking this year. Then I realized that it was frosted lip balm and decided that even though Santa is an idiot, Santa can have the lip balm back and keep it for himself. Herself. Me. I stole it from him, he still doesn't know so don't tell him.

I just don't think Jon would look that great with shimmering, pale pink lips. Then again, maybe he would? We'll never know because I'm not giving this back to him. They're sold out of it on the Avon website and it's mine. Mine! All MINE!!!

Sorry, got a little carried away.

Little tubes of Santa can do that to a person.

The reason this nom nummy Sugar Cookie lip balm made it to my simple pleasures 365 project is because of the smell. It doesn't taste that great, kind of waxy and very much un-sugar cookie like, but the smell is out of this world.

I can't help but to walk around attempting to sniff my own lips after I put it on. No seriously I do, and I need to stop doing that because it means that I walk around looking like this:

If you didn't know that I was trying to smell my lip balm you'd probably assume that I was making that face because I was sad. Or asleep. Or a moron.

Maybe all of the above? Probably just the latter though.

I can't just throw it away and not use it any longer because I love it so. Instead I decided that if I absolutely must catch a whiff then I would just keep my eyes open while doing it.

I think it's a vast improvement, don't you:

NOT!!!

Don't try to convince me to just un-cap the stupid thing and smell it that way.

It isn't the same.

You may also forget convincing me to just go buy a candle with that scent.

What kind of a weirdo carries around a candle in thier purse? Besides, candles aren't this cute.

1-1-11 Catchy Title, no?

This is a quick post, more so because it is almost NOT 1-1-11 than because I'm lazy and don't feel much like writing right now.

Okay, it is also because I'm lazy and don't feel much like writing right now.

I decided on a whim that I need to show my camera more love as well as take the time to enjoy the simpler things in life so I'm starting a 365 photographic project title well... Simple Joys. I'm just creative like that, it's a curse. Also I thought this would get me out of the New Year's resolution ritual and BONUS! taking one picture a day has to be easier than exercising or attempting to not act like a snarky witch on a regular basis, right?

I'm doomed.

Anywho, my first attempt is just a hastily composed shot of tea that I decided to drink instead of doing something useful this afternoon. Like cleaning. I hate cleaning. I love tea, though. Love it. This is just a simple green tea with a splash of milk served in the mug that my mother is unaware that she bought me for Christmas. Gift cards seriously rawk! You can totally buy things you don't need without feeling obligated to use the money for bills like you do with stone cold cash.

Spiders, How I Hate Thee.

So here's the dealio. I don't care much for spiders. If they're outside I leave them be so long as they don't stray near me or suprise me in anyway. If they do decide to take up residence or pop up in any unsuspected way they get a quick whack, stomp or whatever way my panicked self can think of to kill them quickly.

As it is, this time of year means I'm constantly finding the little buggers (heh heh, get it? Little buggers? Okay, not funny. As you were) I keep finding them everywhere. In the garden I try to let them be as I know they play an important part in my whole organic gardening scheme. If I squish them I'm not going to harvest much bounty because the pest will get to it first. I just wish they wouldn't get quites so big while doing their job. Elbow length gloves come in handy to avoid contact, but they leave me with quite an odd tan line so it's one of those fun little win/lose situations.

I also keep finding them in the house. One in particular has taken up residence in my bedroom. Under my bed. How do I know this? Every night just as I'm about to retire for the evening he playfully runs across my pillow as I turn down the sheets and skitters behind the headboard. How do I know this spider is a he? I don't, but lets just pretend for the sake of my sanity that he is. I don't need the added stress of worrying about a Mother to be residing under my bed laying her eggs thankyouverymuch. He isn't a small spider by any means, which would make you think I'd be able to find him rather easily to squish him.

Alas, no.

After a half an hour or so of searching and finding nary a web nor even glimpsing one spindly little spider leg I will convince myself it's safe to go to bed.

On the couch.

Ha, okay I'm not that much of a wuss, I sleep in my bed like a big girl. I will admit that I position my pillow a tad, okay much lower, than my husbands. That way if Mr. Spider does decide to attack he will be more inclined to go after Nai first. I'll thank you kindly for not shattering my disillusions that spiders don't think rationally and that if they did, they'd be more inclined to go after the crazy lady who disturbs them every night and then hunts them and not the calm gentle man giant who stands there laughing at her.

Anywho... this brings me to last night. Do you know what I did last night?

I washed dishes.

Ha! You thought it was going to be something interesting didn't you? You were wrong. Neener neener! You should know by now my life is boring.

For what it's worth, I wash dishes by hand. I have a dishwasher. It comes in handy for storing my canning equipment in. I don't use it for actually washing dishes because for a family of this size I'd still have a full load left to wash after I loaded it up with as much as it can hold. In true hippie fashion I've decided it's a waste so it's used for storage instead. Yes, I know that's a little weird. I've come to terms with that.

Since I wash dishes by hand, I rarely dry them and put them away until the next time I go to wash some and I need the drain rack space. Sometimes I just pile the new ones on the old ones. I'm lazy like that.

Last night I ran a sink full of water and splashed an armful dishes in to soak while I put away the previous days dishes. Of course you know where this is going, don't you? As I picked up a glass that was upside down on the side of the rack a little friend ran out to greet me. He decided to greet me by giving me a heart attack, so I felt it was only fair to greet him in return by screaming and dropping the glass he was standing on.

I'm assuming this was insulting to poor Mr. Spider as he decided to jump mid fall and land squarely in the middle of my sink. Not the one full of soaking dishes. He's smarter than that and isn't going to make my life easier by accidentally drowning himself, he landed in the empty one I use for rinsing. I stared at him. He stared at me. My ten year old daughter who also happened to be in the kitchen as well divided her time by glancing back and forth between the two of us.

After a few seconds I realized he wasn't going to just disappear or curl up and die. I also couldn't finish dishes with him there since, you know... I was scared of him and all. Shuddup, I realize how silly that makes me sound. I inched to the right, he scampered to the left. I grabbed the spray nozzle. He made a jump for it just as I turned the water on full force. The stream hit him before he could clear the sink and knocked him back down. I kept at it, washing him down the drain.

Then I continued to spray water down the drain. I peered into the drain cautiously whle still spraying water down it. Overkill? I think not. My daughter tapped me on the arm, I jumped and just barely stopped myself from turning the nozzle on her. Hello! You don't startle someone who's already jumpy. It's not smart. Instead of soaking her, I continued letting the water stream into the sink instead. I did have enough sense to let it run out of the faucet instead of standing there holding the nozzle. How silly would that be?!I'm all about not looking silly if I can avoid it.

Finally I shut the water off and faced my daughter who asked me (in a slightly amused tone of voice, I think) "Have you ever read Charlotte's Web, Mom?" What a silly question, who hasn't read that book and so I looked at her and responded "Yeeeeaah... so?" I'm always this clever and witty after near death encounters with huge black spiders, just so you know. So Taylor takes my answer into consideration and asks me "It doesn't make you feel any empathy for them at all?" I look at her and reply "When did you learn the word empathy?"

Ha! No, just kidding. The kids pretty intelligent and probably has a larger vocabulary than I do. What I did say was this "I'm pretty sure the spider in that book wrote words in magical little webs. Then it died. This spider on the other hand has been outside our kitchen window for three days now until the storm drove it inside. All it did was eat bugs and leave a mess on the windowsill. Then it died".

She sighed, and rolled her eyes while shaking her head at me. She's going to make a great teenager someday. "Listen, Tay" I said "This one made webs too, but I've looked at them. Either the spider wasn't magical and couldn't form a letter let a lone a word to save his life, or he was drunk when he made his web and his words were illegible because of it" She cocked an eyebrow at me and asked "Did you just tell me you thought that spider got drunk? Regularly?!" My turn to roll MY eyes "Well duh, and like we need yet another alcoholic spider in this house. Good riddance, I say". She stared at me. I stared at her. She looked at me like I had lost my mind. I put my hands on my hips and stared back. Then I told her "Now, put away the rest of those dishes for me please, he might have kin lurking in there" and I walked out of the kitchen.

My poor children. They aren't even phased by my oddities anymore. They'll probably need therapy when they grow up. There was going to be a moral to this story. I forgot what it was supposed to be though. Spider's will do that to a person. The end.

The Alarm Clock: A Short Story by Me

There was once a little alarm clock that belonged to a person named Me (also known as Myself and I). It was a rather non-descript little clock. Black in colour with a red digital face. It had some knobs here and a few buttons there with a couple of cords running out the back.

This little alarm clock wasn't like the other little alarm clocks. Unlike most it's alarm did not go "Beeeep!... Beeeep!... Beeeep!..."

Nor did it play music from your favorite station in an attempt to rouse you.

No, it wasn't a fancy one that chimed in a meditative way or said "It is now 5:30 a.m. and it's time to wake up" in a soothing voice.

In fact, this little alarm clock makes absolutely no noise at all. Not that it couldn't, because it most assuredly could. You could set this alarm to be as quiet as fairies laughing in a garden or as loud as a jet plane landing on your roof.

It just seems a shame to make the poor little thing work so hard at making noise when I (also known as Me and Myself) am deaf and thus cannot hear it.

So how does it work, you might be wondering to yourself. Just how does it a wake a person up?

I will tell you.

The little alarm clock has a wee tiny outlet in the back that is perfect for plugging a lamp into. It also has a pad connected to it by a cord that fits neatly underneath your mattress.

When the little alarm clock goes off in the morning the lamp starts flashing. On and off... On and off... On and off... The pad starts vibrating Buzz... Buzz... Buzz... The little alarm clock is good at it's job. The lamp holds a bulb bright enough to rival the sun and the pad shakes so violently that it registers as a 4.9 on the Richter scale.

Obviously these things seperately let alone combined would jolt even the deepest of sleepers from slumber with such intensity that they would have no need of coffee in the morning. Just a shower and fresh underwear from having pizzled themselves in startlement.

Unfortunately I (also known as Me and Myself) am not phased by these things in the least. Without even leaving REM sleep I (also know as Myself and Me) will simply reach over and punch the off button or possibly knock the clock from the nightstand depending on bad my aim is. The effect is the same either way, the flashing and shaking stop less than 2 seconds after they began and I (also known as Me and Myself) continue with a happy visit in the land of Nod.

Of course I (aka... yeah, you get it already. Gotcha.) still need to wake up so how do you suppose that happens? My poor husband is left with the task. Unfortunately he is a mere mortal and not up to said task. Seriously now people, if something that is the equivalent of a Natural Disaster is happening in my bedroom and that doesn't wake me, it's just plain silly to think he could.

Finally I've found a solution. It actually works, as I've been utilizing it for a couple of months now with great success. It's a plan so simple and so obvious that I almost smacked myself for not thinking of it before. I didn't smack myself though, because I don't like to be hit and it would have ticked me off. Which would have resulted in me getting mouthy and picking a fight with myself. I'm not one to just back down from fight when it involves a cause I believe in so passionately (me not getting hit, remember?) so of course after words were exchanged blows would be next. It just doesn't end good so it's best not to start it in the first place no matter how entertaining it could be or how bored I am to have just written all that.

Back to my solution with the alarm clock.

I used to keep it on top of the nightstand by my bed. Within reach and easily accessible and that my friends is where the problem lies. Or actually laid. Lewd? Whatever.

Now I simply hide the clock every night after I set the alarm. I don't hide it in the same place either. Sometimes I'll place it underneath the bed, right in the very middle of the floor and surround it with the little rolling totes of seasonal clothes I store there. Another night it might go under my dresser, or in the draw on the front of my nightstand. Anywhere other than where it was the night before so it keeps me from getting into a routine and turning it off in my sleep again.

Would you like to know how well my little plan works? Of course you don't, but I'm going to tell you anyways.

Picture me if you will, sound asleep and snoring softly like a freight train (according to my husband) with just a tiny drop of drool the size of Lake Michigan on my pillow.

After gazing at this peaceful scene for a minute imagine the room is suddenly filled with the fiery flashing light of a Super Nova while the bed begins to shake and roll across the floor with no forethought destination other than to escape and quickly at that.

Now see an arm snake out from under the covers and smack at the nightstand in an almost lazy fashion. Watch as it continues to smack. And smack... and then suddenly I'm sitting up in bed and staring groggily at the spot on the table where my clock should be. Is it there *flash/SHAKE!* I don't see it *flash/SHAKE!* Is that it? *flash/SHAKE!* I stretch my hand way out and reach over to hit what turns out to be my glasses, knocking them off the table and falling out of bed after them in a tumble of blankets and pillows.

Still more asleep than awake I recall that I left the clock under the bed the night before. Eyes still mostly closed (because it would be stupid to open them and inflict them to punishing glare of my lamp this early in the morning, flashing or otherwise). I start crawling on my hands and knees towards the bed. It's slow going what with all the blankets wrapped around my legs but finally I bump into something solid and large.

Breathing a sigh of relief I try to force my eyes open enough to peer underneath the furniture. Failing at that and just barely missing being hit in the head with a photo that has worked loose from the wall due to all the shaking I decide to just grope around for the clock instead.

Frantically my fingers search but they find only air. I lay flat against the floor and stretch out, reaching as far as I can... There! I grab the clock and yank it towards me and OH MERCIFUL HEAVENS WHAT IS THAT SMELL??!!!

That's when I realize I'm not reaching under the bed but Nai's dresser. I'm clutching not the clock but one of his dirty socks that has been under there for God only knows how long. This much is for certain, when I squealed in shock at what was in my hand the sock squealed right back.

Tossing the sock aside I reach out in the opposite direction instead. Finally starting to wake up I'm happy to note that this is definitely the bed. These are the totes of clothes. The clock should be just behind them. I shove them to the side and reach for it eagerly anticipating the peace that is sure to come any second now.

It's not there. It has to be there. It isn't though. I start yanking totes out left and right in a desperate search for it. Finally after the last tote is out of my way I shove my head half under the bed to locate the clock. *flash* I only see *flash* dust bunnies *flash* Oh what kind of Hell is this that I've awakened to anyway?!!

Fully awake at this point I lean over wearily and yank the cord from the outlet thus unplugging the whole mess and stopping the destruction. Apparently I am NOT fully awake though, because it takes me at least 3 seconds to realize that everything is still flashing and shaking and that the bed is still bouncing against the door frame in it's flight towards safety.

Ooops. It would appear that I unplugged Nai's alarm clock rather than mine by mistake. I yank out the second cord and finally, FINALLY peace descends. I sit quietly for a moment savoring the stillness before making my way out to the kitchen.

Nai is sitting quietly drinking a cup of coffee.

"Problems Sweetie?" he asks me.

I yawn and reply "I can't find my alarm clock, it isn't under the bed where I put it".

Nai raises an eyebrow in amusement and says "I thought you hid your clock in the nightstand drawer last night?"

Bad Habits Die Hard

The Setting: A cold Winter evening a few years back, in a junky old car pulling out of the drive-through at your typical burger joint.

The Cast: My friend and I

My friend "What are you doing?"

I "... eating fries"

My friend "With your gloves on?"

I "My hands are cold"

My friend "Doesn't that make your gloves all nasty and greasy?"

I "They can be washed"

My friend "Okay, but doesn't it get fuzzies all over your food?"

I, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing "I don't taste any more fuzziness than usual"

My friend "Eww... I can't take you anywhere, can I?"

I "You know you love me."

My friend "Yes,but why I love you is beyond me."

Ha! Why am I typing a conversation from years back? Probably because tonight I picked up dinner for our little family at another typical burger joint drive through. It was cold. I had on gloves. I finished the fries before even getting the food home and no, I did not take my gloves off to eat them. (((Andrea))) I'm thinking of you tonight, sweetie.

Did I tell you my husband has been replaced by aliens? I'm okay with this. Three times this week I have woken up to a cup of coffee on my desk made just the way I like it, for no reason at all.

One day I also woke up to a back rub for no reason at all.

The other day as I cleaned, while dancing around the playroom listening to the Oldies station full blast on the radio, Nai swept me into his arms as he wandered past and danced through the room with me for no reason at all.

Yesterday I kept catching my husband watching me and smiling to himself. I questioned him about it "What?! Are you laughing at me because my hair is braided into pigtails? You think I'm goofy looking?"

He tugged a braid, smiled and replied "No, not goofy looking. I think you look really cute with your hair like that."

So yes, he's been abducted by aliens and replaced with this. I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to be happy that after a few years of marriage he still gets a goofy grin on his face at the silly things I do, the same as he did when we were dating. Heaven knows he still makes my heart skip a beat, alien or not.

New Dishes and Dremel Fun

Okay, okay. It's been forever since I've posted. It really has been a hectic two months. I spent half of October and a good part of November crafting for a local fair. The rest of November and most of December were full of me being sick, trying to get *it* together for the Holidays, and then the kids and I all being sick together.

In that order.

Fun.

Not.

It seems to have quieted down finally and now I'm back to being lazy crafty again which thrills me to no end. I once more have hundreds of ideas playing bumper cars in my brain and enough time to work on maybe two of them. Three if I don't sleep.

*sigh*

The good news is that Nai's grandmother gave him a huge accessory kit for a Dremel for Christmas. After reading the package and seeing all the fun things it could be used for I started to get really excited about using it. Then Nai went informed me that we didn't actually own a Dremel.

What the?!... Really? That stinks.

So the other day as I was wandering dazedly through our local home goods store in search of caulk and weather stripping I ended up in the power tools section. Partially because I couldn't find the stuff in any of the more obvious places I had looked but also because I was running errands without the kidlets for a change and was determined to stretch my kid free time out as far a humanly possible. As luck would have it they do not carry insulating products in the power tool section but they do have Dremels there.

Did you know you could engrave on glass with those things? I didn't know either, the accessory kit hadn't mentioned that. It sealed the deal. I was buying one of these suckers. The fact that I didn't have any glass laying around to engrave didn't deter me any.

As I continued my search for the elusive weather proofing materials I wracked my brain trying to think of what I could use the Dremel on first. Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed a boxed set of clear glass dishes on clearance.

"Wow! This store has everything!" I thought. "Well, except stuff to keep the cold air out of my house and the warm air in." Then I picked up the box of dishes and dumped them in my cart. I also decided to give up on looking for the caulk and weather stripping as it was starting to get expensive.

Once I arrived home I excitedly showed Nai what I had bought. He wasn't quite as over the top thrilled about the purchases as I was but he did have enough decency to feign interest and asked me what I was going to engrave on the dishes.

Uh.... stuff.

I hadn't thought that far ahead. That had the gears working in my brain as I started dinner. I was a little distracted though. Every time I opened the fridge to get out an ingredient that I needed for our meal some of the kids artwork would dislodge from the front and float to the floor. I had a neat little stack by the time the meal was in the oven and so I absentmindedly started to sort them into piles according to who had drawn what.

I bet you've already figured out where I'm going with this, haven't you?

Yep, I decided my new set of dishes should feature original drawings from the kiddie's.

I made my first plate today using a recent drawing of Jon's. It's a dessert plate rather than a dinner plate, because it was more for practice. The drawing is of my baby brother (or Uncle Bubby as he's known to my children) handing out presents at Christmas. On the left side of drawing in green is my brother Jason's gorgeous wife Carrie.

Close up of the plate. Not too bad for my first try. Of course I was copying a three year old's drawing, so any goofs (and I assure you there are plenty) weren't as noticeable.

Wee!!! Cast shadows and artsy fartsy-ness with my new camera.

What you would see if you were sitting in my family room holding a glass plate in front of your face. Except you wouldn't see this, because the wee little one in the picture is in bed now, not in the family room.


Har dee har har. I kill me.

So yeah, I'm positively tickled with my new project and can hardly wait to start on the rest of the set. I might need to venture back the aforementioned store for more glass tips though. With my luck I won't be able to find them, but I should come across weather stripping instead.

On another note, we have a new style of decor in our humble abode. It is a modern look and a collaborative effort between my youngest Anna-Marie, my stoopid dog Maxaroni and my friend Kim.


Max laid claim to the arm of the futon less than two hours after we moved it into this room, Kim supplied the cute stickers and Anna Banana artfully decorated the chewed up arm of the futon with them. Then she stuck a Ritz cracker on them.


Très Chic, no?

So, yeah... like... totally!

I love my husband, I really do. I like the fact that he's willing to try and rouse my sleeping self in the morning if I ask him to. I even respect the fact that I am known to be hard to wake, and that it's annoying to have to tell me 15 times to get up.

I will even forgive a little bit of deviousness to get me out of bed.

I will warn you though, if you want your wife in a good mood, there are certain things you should not do.

Ever.

For example, do not decide to pinch her nostrils closed to wake her. There's nothing like the feeling of suffocating first thing in the morning to put a damper on the rest of the day.

I also guarantee that no matter how cute you thought you were being, she's not going to be nearly as amused as you are by your little prank. You're also lucky that she was too busy gasping for breath to have accurate aim when she swung her fist otherwise you would be limping much worse than you are.

He Said What?!!

Nai and I were watched the movie "Iron Man" last night. It's a really good movie, especially in the eyes of a geeky, comic book loving gal like myself.

At one point Stark walks past an older man surrounded by young women and says something along the lines of "Looking good, Heff!". Hugh Hefner turns around to see who is speaking to him and that when I bounce off the couch, punch Nai in the arm and shriek "Look! It's Stan Lee!"

Nai, with a blank look on his face "Who's Stanley?"

That gave me pause so I looked at him incredulously and said slowly "Stan Lee..." then I thought to add "You're a boy. You better not let the other boys hear you say stuff like Who's Stanley? or you're never going to live it down."

So he responds "Oh!!... That Stanley! I knew that..."

Yeah, quick thinking there ya doofus. I still love him, in spite of it all. LOL

Check here for all of Stan Lee's cameos on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO0NsKFJ6gE

Ebay Schmebay and Toilet Paper

Well I went and did it. I finally listed on ebay again.

I decided around Mid Summer that I needed to either start selling again or just donate a whole lotta stuff that I had been hanging onto. I even came up with a game plan of sorts to get me started. It went something like this:

Day 1: Decide to start selling on Schmebay again and come up with a game plan.

Day 2: Review yesterday's proposed game plan and make revisions as needed.

Day 3: Take a break.

Day 4: Research all the new rules and regulations.

Days 5-12: Repeat the game plan for Day 4.

Day 13: Take a break.

Day 14: Weigh options on whether to list in auction format or open a store.

Day 15: Make a decision about Day 14's game plan.

Day 16: Question yesterday's decision and start to waver.

Days 17-19: Just keep wavering. It's fun.

Days 20-25: Go on a real vacation, one that requires you to sleep in a strange bed in a house that is not your own. Take your family and stuff when you go.

Day 26: Arrive home from vacation with a firm decision in mind for your listings.

Day 27-29: Recover from the relaxing vacation you took with your family and stuff.

Day 30: Start listing and reap in loads of money.

It was actually a very good game plan if I do say so myself. Well thought out, with plenty of margin for errors. Should be easy peasy to follow.

I made it to Day 3 and got stuck there. For what it's worth, I did totally skip ahead to Days 20-25 but then I went back to Day 3 once those were over.

Yesterday though. Yesterday...

It was time.

I stood around in the morning drinking coffee and mumbling to myself as the oldest of my little's got themselves ready for school. I ran through all of the rules and regulations in a fast paced monologue under my breath as the girls threw odd looks in my direction.

Finally I told myself, enough is enough. Just DO IT ALREADY!!! for crying out loud.

I closed my eyes, reached forward tentatively and grabbed hold of the first thing my fingers brushed against. I snatched it to my chest, breathing a sigh of relief as I proclaimed "This will be the first thing that I list today!"

Then I felt my new found treasure snatched from my arms followed by the ear splitting cry of "Mooooommmmmm!"

My eyes snapped open so I could trap the perpetrator in their steely gaze. How dare she steal away from my very hands the one thing I had finally gathered the courage to list. How could she?!!

That line of thought was quickly brought to a halt by the next words that she uttered, which had a ring of logic to them that even I had trouble arguing with, not that I didn't try.

"You can't list my Math book!" she said. "Really? Why not?" I inquired, "You don't need it, do you? What do you need to learn Math for?" She responded "You are soooo weird. You should list something we won't miss. Like Taylor."

That of course brought a cry of indignation from the other end of the room where Taylor had been, up til this point, standing quietly and watching the proceedings with a look of perplexity upon her brow.

That's about when I noticed it was nearly time for the bus to be pulling up so I promptly rushed them out of the house and shut the door.

Then I locked it.

I even used the chain lock and dead bolt.

Then when my children turned looked back at me with raised brows I stuck my tongue out and giggled.

Cause I'm a major dork like that.

The rest of that ebay listing day went much smoother than I could have hoped for. Today on the other hand... eh, it's had it's share of moments.

For example, I decided to try and list Jon’s outgrown clothing. As I started taking pictures of the carefully arranged outfits he promptly ran over and grabbed up one item after another exclaiming “Hey! This is MINE!” or “I have this shirt! It’s my flavor-ite!"

Really kid, your shirt has a flavor? How would you know that? Do you taste test them or something? I digress...

He spent most of the day wandering the house while wearing no fewer than three size 24 months shirts all at once and a pair of size 2 T pants(on backwards, by the way). The kid currently fits in a size 3 pant and size 4/5 shirt. He looked a tad odd, to put it mildly. I don't know where he gets it from. Must be his Father.

Anna Marie has been less than helpful as well. I sat down to edit pictures and noticed she was sitting on the floor next to our Rott-Lab mix, Maxaroni, petting him. I figured all was good in the world so I started my editing, glancing over at her occasionally to make sure that she wasn't trying to feed him her sippy cup or yanking on his ears. Next thing I know, I glance up and she’s sitting on his back screaming “Gee-yup, doggie! Gee-yup!"

What was a good dog like Max to do?

Well, he stood.

Then he Gee-yupped.

With gusto, I might add.

Anna held on for a good five seconds, just long enough for her to get to shriek with laughter and for me to almost catch her before she hit the floor. Notice I said almost right there?

*sigh*

She now has a huge shiner on the left side of her face and she spent the remainder of the day telling Max he is “No funny, doggie. Go way.” and then pouting.

And.... just when you thought it couldn't get any more boring than this!

I got a package in the mail. A little mystery package in a white box. "Hmm... funny." I thought to myself "I don't usually buy orders small enough to come in little white boxes like this one. Big white boxes, yes. Little ones, no. Wonder what it could be?" Then I thought to myself "Quit thinking to yourself, ya ninny and just open the damn thing."

So I did.

It was the coolest thing I have ever received in the mail.

Ever.

For what it's worth "Ever" translates to "this week" in Christina time, in case you were wondering.

I just stared at it. I furrowed my brow, cocked my head to the side and looked at it inquisitively. I turned it around in my hands, inspecting it from every angle.

Then I burst out laughing.

I was holding the largest roll of toilet paper that I have ever seen. It made all the double rolls stored on the shelf in my laundry room tremble in fear. It was freaking HUGE! The insert claimed that this one roll contained enough cushiony toilet paper softness to equal four rolls of my regular stuff. They encouraged me to try it, then buy more when I ran out. What they did not do was include a coupon. Don't they know I'm a cheapskate?

Well, if they're generous enough to share their wares with yours truly for free I figured it would only be proper of me to use it. I headed towards the bathroom and removed my measly looking, almost empty roll of toilet paper from the holder.

I carefully inserted the new roll onto the dispenser and pushed to lock it into place. Then I pushed a little harder. Next I gave it a good solid thump with both hands. It must not have been expecting that, because it worked and my new supersized roll of t.p. was in place and ready to be used. Just for the heck of it I grabbed a square and tugged. It came off in my hands.

Huh??!!!

I tried again. Same result. Well that's plain stupid. There was so much cushiony softness on this monstrosity sized roll that it was pressed against the cabinet and couldn't spin.

*sigh*

I took the toilet paper holder back out of the dispenser, almost causing serious injury to myself in the process when all of the pressure holding the roll in place was dispersed. I removed the slightly disheveled roll of paper from the spindle and slowly to started unwinding it so it would be small enough to spin in the dispenser.

Everything was going great until my 3 year old decided to slam open the bathroom door and then yell "Mama!!! You in here??!!!" while staring directly at me.

It scared me enough that I jumped a little. The jerking motion of my hands caused the toilet paper to fly up into the air in an arch over my head. Being the oh so quick on my feet thinker that I am I just stood there watching as the roll bounced off the window sill, clipped the corner of the sink, which caused to go hurtling towards shower curtain where it slid to the floor and proceeded to spin in a dizzying sort of way, flinging lengths of toilet paper every which way across the room.

Finally the spinning slowed and the toilet paper rolled across the floor coming to a rest against a red plastic toy boat that was sitting in a puddle of water from a recent bath. I looked around bleakly at the toilet paper that was draping the sink and tangled in the towel rack. I was amazed by the amount covering the floor. I marveled at the size of the roll now that it had managed to soak up the pond sized puddle of water that the toy boat had been resting in.

My meek little, almost spent roll of double wide paper sat right where I had left it on a shelf above the toilet silently mocking me. I let the little bit of paper that I had managed to retain in my hands fall from my fingers and drift silently to the floor.

Then I looked at my son and said "Yes, Jon. I'm in here. What do you want?"

He replied "I dunno, I just wanna know if you in here Mama." and then he walked out slamming the door behind him.

Autumn Laziness

Today was a fun day. I spent a good portion of it outside with the littles just enjoying the weather and sunshine. I always feel a little sad that Summer is coming to an end, but I have to admit the air never smells quite as sweet any other time of the year as it does in the Fall.

It's crisp feeling and lightly scented with woodsmoke and cut corn from the fields. At least that's how it is in my neck of the woods, anyway. My smallest babe had a blast walking through the fallen leaves and listening to them crunch underfoot. My little man spent the time making small piles of leaves and then with the help of his baby sister, demolishing them.

I, on the other hand, sat around watching them play and reflecting on the things I managed to finish this Summer and on the things I'd still like to accomplish before it turns much colder. I think Monday I'll try to compel Nai into going to the Nature Center with the kids and I after school for a short hike and a picnic dinner.

I spent the morning running errands and I also managed to squeeze in a visit to my favorite Thrift. It was a pleasant coincidence then, that I ran into my parent's and they treated me and the two littlest kiddies to lunch.

When I came home I decided to unravel another sweater so that Taylor could try her hand at dyeing yarn, since she's been asking me all week for the chance to.

FYI:

Unraveled yarn that has been tied into hanks but hasn't yet been placed in water would make an awesome collar for a Shakespeare costume.

I think the colors turned out very nice, although the blue/orange ones are different intensities of the colors she dyed them. She did a great job for her first try though! I'll have to post those pictures my next time through here.

I've also decided I need to do something about my hair. It's just so blah. Don't mind the sour expression on my face. I couldn't tell if the camera was about to flash or not. I'm just happy I kept my eyes open! Any suggestions with what I could do with barely tamed nest of knots would be greatly appreciated!

Tomorrow is going to be a slightly crazy one. I have to bake our weekly loaves of bread but I also need to finish making my apple butter and applesauce. We'll also be going to our Annual run through at Shaw Farms http://www.shawfarms.com/ for pumpkins. We'll put up some Pumpkin butter, bake some pies and toast the seeds with just a pinch of sugar and cinnamon.

Things I've learned about ME this week

I've learned that

A: Patio furniture flying across the yard pretending to be demolition derby cars can be both highly amusing and extremely frightening at the same time.

B: When a large tree branch breaks and crashes to the ground it sounds like it's happening right in the room with you, even though it's 2 acres out in your yard.

C: I feel compelled to help even when the only thing I have to offer is a hot shower, a free meal, Internet access and a daily fix of television.

D: One day in a tweenager's life involves dealing with more drama than you'll see in a month's worth of soap opera's.

E: When it comes to outdoor fires I morph from a nature loving hippie Mom to something resembling a destructive teenage boy. Meaning I keep throwing wood on to make it bigger and hotter and then I get all giddy and start tackling children while shrieking "Just look at the size of that inferno!!!! Wow!". The inferno pictured below is the tail end of it after I exhausted all the fallen trees and branches within a two neighbor radius.

In other news I finished it! Yay!

Oh? What did I finish. The Pop Tart scarf! Yay! Or is it Poptart scarf? Either way, Yay! I luvs it so I feel the need to make one for myself eventually. This one, and it's successor that I'm currently working on, are going to an online friend of mine.

My husband's reaction to the coolness that is toaster pastries in scarf form? "That would be so much cooler if they were Blueberry Pop Tarts." Very supportive, isn't he. Makes you just want to hide all the batteries from the t.v. remote before he gets home from work, doesn't it?

I also have a new favorite hobby. I've already been a freak about hitting the sweater section of my local Thrift store to find things to cut apart, now I'm unraveling them too. Any natural or light colored wool sweater gets brought home to be unraveled and re-dyed. Now I've moved on to unraveling any sweater that has yarn that catches my fancy. I fell in love with the colors in the sweater below (is a sleeve in the picture) but I hated the boxy shape and overall ugliness of the piece.

I think it will get a lot more use in it's new life as, yes... I'm kind of stuck on these lately for some reason, a scarf of the striped variety. It's orange, red, brown, green and PURPLE.

(said in my best Spongebob Squarepants voice)

"I love purple"

Here are some more soon to be butchered sweaters. The gray one is acrylic but the shading of the stripes just kills me. It's gorgeous. The red one is 100% cashmere. Eeek! Cashmere yarn!

*thud*

What will I do with it? I dunno, but it's cashmere!!! Then there is a natural colored wool one and a heathered beige that is a cashmere, angora and wool blend. I've already started on the cashmere and cashmere blend ones. I almost want to carry that little red ball around with me to pull out and show people. "Look! It's a cute lil' ball of cashmere yarn! Don't you just love it?!! Here, touch it. Seriously. I said touch it! Isn't it soft, aren't you glad you touched it? Aren't you jealous that you don't have a teeny tiny ball of cashmere yarn?"

I have restrained myself thus far because I'm already a known oddity and really don't need to help solidify that image. I don't know how much longer I can restrain myself though.

It. is. cashmere. yarn.

Eeeek! (again)

*thud* (again)

And this.

How embarrassing is this? I miss my drawing table/work space/computer desk. This silly glass thing is too small for everything I have to do. Yes it takes up less space, but I don't buy the Old Man's thought that it looks nicer than the other one. Really? The crapola piled here, there and everywhere on the too small surface looks better? Well color me confuzzled, I prefer to be able to get to my keyboard. Heck, I'd be happy if I could just see the dang thing. Oh wait, there it is. Okay, all is good again.

See me in red taking the picture? See Sky in black brushing her hair? See us not being aware we'd be in the picture because we aren't vampires whose reflections won't show up in mirrors? Dorks.

Although, in my Old Man's defense my desk rarely looks like this. I was in the middle of twenty different things that day and kept stopping and putting said things down on my desk instead of putting them away like they should be. I just decided to document and then publicly shame myself over the condition of my desk in order to motivate myself to not let it happen again.

I have two new reasons to sew this week so hopefully I get around to it. The first is the material for Anna's costume arrived in the mail. It's soft and brightly colored. I might not even need to sew it into anything as she seems to like wearing it as is.

The second is a little device called a Chenille Rotary Cutter. I bought it a week ago and have been looking at it longingly (is that a word?) everyday since. I have got to use that thing this week or risk driving myself insane(er) from this silly creative itch that needs scratching. Hopefully I can post pics soon of the fugliness that has been created using the above mentioned items.

A Long and Highly Unproductive Day.

Okay, so I've spent the entire day it seems getting my new Shop up and running. Well, okay maybe just up. I can't really say it's running yet. In fact claiming it's up is still stretching it.

If you want to check it out follow the link below. We're now paperflowersdesign.com. Yay me!

http://www.paperflowersdesign.com/

Hey! I'm trying though, that should count for something. I think I'm going to keep my blog here though because I really like the format more. I'll use the blog I've set up over there specifically for Shop announcements and that sort of thing.

So here are a couple of things I have to share with you before I call it a night. The first one is a picture of the monster sized sunflower that sprouted in the middle of my garden this year. Smack dab in the center of a mulched pathway. I guess I have a soft spot for wayward flowers because I decided to let it grow there rather than transplanting the little guy or *gasp* weeding it out.

Obviously that was before I knew it was going to be over 11 feet tall with blooms almost twice the size of my head. I would have still left it had I known in advance. Obviously it's now spent for the season but rather than harvesting the seeds I think I'll leave them for the birds. I'm going to miss seeing it in all of it's grandeur every time I walk that way.

It still makes quite an impression though, even now. Dont'cha think?

The second thing happens to be a couple of shots of what I spent the day doing last week on my Birthday. Yes, I'm old(er). But I'm sure you are too so "nyah nyah" (said whilst sticking my fingers in my ears and poking my tongue out in a thoroughly obnoxious manner).

We made Apple Butter!

Don't worry, we don't store it on the window sill. That wouldn't be good for it. It just made for a good artsy fartsy photo op. We actually keep it in the poor unused and neglected dishwasher next to our fully by now fermented strawberry jam.

At least that's where we keep it when we aren't giving it away to friends and relatives. Or eating it on a peanut butter and apple butter sandwich. Yummy. It's the kidlets favorite lunch right along with yogurt mixed with granola and dried fruit. With all the giving and eating of the butter we're already running low. Looks like we'll be heading down the road to the local orchard for a bushel or three of apples.

Testing Testing 1...2...3...

Okay, so here goes nothing. I'm starting this new blog to eventually promote my Etsy store and my items on ebay. I figured it would be a good idea to at least post a testing blog first to familiarize myself with the process.

I sell unique handmade items on etsy (of course!) and all kinds of swell things on ebay. Usually vintage items or clothing lots. I haven't decided yet if I want to sell my handcrafted items on ebay or not. I suppose I would have to open a store if I did. I'm not sure how many times I'd have to relist on auctions, especially during the Summer months.

I haven't even started stocking my etsy store. I took a crafting break for a while to devote my time to my family but it's finally getting to the point where I can create and spend time with children and husband. You have to love the warm weather for that reason alone.

It's also time to start getting the ole' garden into shape and start my seedlings. I'm very big on organically grown veggies. I have a pressure canner that I'm going to muster up the courage to use this year. We are also getting a deep freeze for the garage. I cannot even begin to tell you how sad I was when the last of the tomatoes were eaten and there were no new ones to replace them. I was so spoiled. If I felt like a snack or a salad all I had to do was wander outside, pick it, rinse it and then eat it. Yum!

I've spent the last few days starting my compost and clearing all of the ick from the garden so that soil is happy and fresh and ready for my plants. I've contemplated doing a flower garden this year as well but it seems the only success I have in growing flowers would be to cultivate the prettier weeds. It's a shameful thing indeed! It would be nice to be able to walk out my front door and have a yard full of gladiola's, fuchsia's, snapdragons and the like to photograph or sketch. We do have deer, mice and bunnies though. Plenty of pictures of them eating our veggies!

The most important thing to happen in my life this past week would be my baby brother getting married. I couldn't be there as it was one of those "on a whim" type of things. They called me less than a month ago and said "We're getting married on a beach in Florida, can you come?" Sadly, no. I bawled my eyes when they e-mailed me the pictures. I wanted to with them something awful. My sis in law Carrie looked gorgeous and my baby brother Jason was just bursting with happiness. I love them so much, I'm thrilled they're so happy and in love.

Okay, I've probably typed more than enough for a "testing" blog so I'm out of here to do my daily "needs to be done, wish I had a housekeeper/live in nanny/mother's helper" type of things.